Monday, July 28, 2014

What They Said: Volume 12

I've been collecting these quotes since MAY!  It's been way too long - I know a lot of you have done posts like this in the past few months, so feel free to link up any old posts too!  




A couple months before his 5th birthday:

John Paul: How can I drink cocktails?
Me: Well, you can't drink cocktails, but we can make you a mocktail...
John Paul: No, I need a COCKTAIL!


You and me both, kid...

Me: Well, then you'll have to wait until you're 21.
John Paul: That's... 17  and a quarter years... I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!!!





Cecilia, scooting away from John Paul at the dinner table: I'm moving FAR AWAY from you so you don't ARGUE with my FOOD!

...

Cecilia:  Mom, when you die will you be a second St. Rose of Lima?
Me: Well, my name isn't Rose and I'm not from Lima, so no.  But maybe I'll be St. Rosemary or St. Rosie. Will you guys take up my cause for canonization?
John Paul: Yeah.  You'll be canonized in 2107.  Two years before I die.

Glad he's got it all planned out...



John Paul:  Agh.  I'm...  Really hungry...
Me:  Then maybe you should eat your breakfast.
John Paul:  Aaaaaaaaagh...  My tummy is hurting...  I'm really full...
Me:  Then maybe you should go to the bathroom.
John Paul:  I just...  Need to look at my scientific data for a little bit.

Cures all my ills, too.


John Paul, first thing in the morning:  I have carbeen dioxide.
Me: Do you mean carBON dioxide?
John Paul: No, car-BEAN dioxide!  It's what a BEANSTALK HAS!
Me: Where did you read that?
John Paul: I just made it up myself!
Me: Shocker.



John Paul: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there.
John Paul: Elizabeth.
Me: Elizabeth who?
John Paul: ELIZABETH ON THE FUTON! JOKE 2014!!!


Elizabeth: Knock knock!
Me: Who's there?
Elizabeth: Who's dere?
Me: Knock knock?
Elizabeth: Knock knock!
Mary Claire: Banana WHO?

Yup, they've mastered this.



Cecilia: Mom, I want my tummy to hurt like yours.
Me: Well Cecilia, you're going to have to wait until you're older if you want to be pregnant.
Cecilia:  No, I want to have a baby in my tummy NOW, when I'm a KID!
Me: You need a husband for that, sweetie.
Cecilia: I'll never get married, I want to be a NUN! ...Do nuns have babies?
Me: No sweetie, nuns don't have babies.
Cecilia: But I want to be a mommy AND a nun!
Me: Like St. Elizabeth Ann Seton?
Cecilia: Yeah, like her.
Me: Well, we'll just have to wait and see how God calls you to serve him.
Cecilia: Mom, I heard him say dat.
Me: You heard God talk to you?
Cecilia: Yeah, and say dat I want to be a mommy and a nun.

Well, I guess that's settled.  Although a few days later she wanted to be a mermaid and a princess and a kid forever - guess her vocation changed.



Cecilia: Mom, is St. Michael the Archangel a saint?
Me: Yes, he is.
Cecilia: I don't WANT him to be a saint!
Me: Why not?
Cecilia: Because I want him to come to our HOUSE!
Me: Well, maybe if we have a special devotion to him, he'll come protect us at our house.
Cecilia, sobbing: But I want to SEE him!
Me: Well honey, you're just going to have to wait until you get to heaven to see him!
Cecilia, still sobbing: But I want him to come to our house and FLY AROUND!

Deep theological thinking going on over here...



John Paul: When will I get to make dinner?
Me: Well, maybe when you're a teenager you can start making dinner once a week.
John Paul:  Or maybe half a teenager.  Like, 6 and a half or 7.  But I can't wait 2 and 1/12 years!
Me: If you tried to make dinner when you were that old, you might have trouble because you wouldn't be able to use the stove or sharp knives...
John Paul:  Oh!  I could make COOKIES!

Too bad they don't count as dinner...  I'm all for it!



John Paul, bringing me a book:  Here, Mom.
Me: Do you want me to read this to you guys?
John Paul: No, just to yourself.

The book?  Humanae Vitae.



Mary Claire, seeing a girl in a head scarf: Little riding hood!!!


Mary Claire, seeing a man with a long white beard at church: Noah!!!


Mary Claire, looking at a picture of Mary holding Jesus: I love you Mary! Ah love you Jesus!



Cecilia: Mom, if I leave crumbs on the floor, a mouse can eat them!
Me: Well, we don't want mice in our house...
Cecilia: Why?
Me: Because they would poop everywhere.
Cecilia: Um, but I'll get dem a little mouse potty!
Me: They wouldn't use the potty, they're mice.
Cecilia: Well den I'll get dem a little stuffed mouse!
Me: How would that keep them from pooping?
Cecilia: Just a little stuffed mouse so I can LICK da little stuffed mouse!

So confused by this conversation...



Elizabeth:  Kiss Mom!
*kisses me*
Elizabeth: I yuv oo!

Heart. Melted.  Favorite child.

...

Me: John Paul, what would you like to learn this summer?
JP: How to drive.
Me: That's not going to happen...
JP: I need to learn how things move forward and backward... I need to learn more about FRICTION!

...


Me: John Paul, do you want to say anything to the baby?
JP: Yeah. I just got a new iPad!
Me: You did?
JP: I ordered it!
Me: Um... Where?
JP: On Amazon.
Me: How did you pay for it?
JP: I just used a nickel. It was very cheap.




And there you have it!  I'd love to read your posts, if you've got any :)


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