What They Said: Volume 12

I've been collecting these quotes since MAY!  It's been way too long - I know a lot of you have done posts like this in the past few months, so feel free to link up any old posts too!  

A couple months before his 5th birthday:

John Paul: How can I drink cocktails?
Me: Well, you can't drink cocktails, but we can make you a mocktail...
John Paul: No, I need a COCKTAIL!


You and me both, kid...

Me: Well, then you'll have to wait until you're 21.
John Paul: That's... 17  and a quarter years... I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG!!!

Cecilia, scooting away from John Paul at the dinner table: I'm moving FAR AWAY from you so you don't ARGUE with my FOOD!

...

Cecilia:  Mom, when you die will you be a second St. Rose of Lima?

Me: Well, my name isn't Rose and I'm not from Lima, so no.  But maybe I'll be St. Rosemary or St. Rosie. Will you guys take up my cause for canonization?

John Paul: Yeah.  You'll be canonized in 2107.  Two years before I die.

Glad he's got it all planned out...

John Paul:  Agh.  I'm...  Really hungry...

Me:  Then maybe you should eat your breakfast.

John Paul:  Aaaaaaaaagh...  My tummy is hurting...  I'm really full...

Me:  Then maybe you should go to the bathroom.

John Paul:  I just...  Need to look at my scientific data for a little bit.

Cures all my ills, too.

John Paul, first thing in the morning:  I have carbeen dioxide.

Me: Do you mean carBON dioxide?

John Paul: No, car-BEAN dioxide!  It's what a BEANSTALK HAS!
Me: Where did you read that?

John Paul: I just made it up myself!

Me: Shocker.

John Paul: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there.

John Paul: Elizabeth.

Me: Elizabeth who?

John Paul: ELIZABETH ON THE FUTON! JOKE 2014!!!

Elizabeth: Knock knock!

Me: Who's there?

Elizabeth: Who's dere?

Me: Knock knock?

Elizabeth: Knock knock!

Mary Claire: Banana WHO?

Yup, they've mastered this.

Cecilia: Mom, I want my tummy to hurt like yours.

Me: Well Cecilia, you're going to have to wait until you're older if you want to be pregnant.

Cecilia:  No, I want to have a baby in my tummy NOW, when I'm a KID!

Me: You need a husband for that, sweetie.

Cecilia: I'll never get married, I want to be a NUN! ...Do nuns have babies?

Me: No sweetie, nuns don't have babies.

Cecilia: But I want to be a mommy AND a nun!

Me: Like St. Elizabeth Ann Seton?

Cecilia: Yeah, like her.

Me: Well, we'll just have to wait and see how God calls you to serve him.

Cecilia: Mom, I heard him say dat.

Me: You heard God talk to you?

Cecilia: Yeah, and say dat I want to be a mommy and a nun.

Well, I guess that's settled.  Although a few days later she wanted to be a mermaid and a princess and a kid forever - guess her vocation changed.

Cecilia: Mom, is St. Michael the Archangel a saint?

Me: Yes, he is.

Cecilia: I don't WANT him to be a saint!

Me: Why not?

Cecilia: Because I want him to come to our HOUSE!

Me: Well, maybe if we have a special devotion to him, he'll come protect us at our house.

Cecilia, sobbing: But I want to SEE him!

Me: Well honey, you're just going to have to wait until you get to heaven to see him!

Cecilia, still sobbing: But I want him to come to our house and FLY AROUND!

Deep theological thinking going on over here...

John Paul: When will I get to make dinner?

Me: Well, maybe when you're a teenager you can start making dinner once a week.

John Paul:  Or maybe half a teenager.  Like, 6 and a half or 7.  But I can't wait 2 and 1/12 years!

Me: If you tried to make dinner when you were that old, you might have trouble because you wouldn't be able to use the stove or sharp knives...

John Paul:  Oh!  I could make COOKIES!

Too bad they don't count as dinner...  I'm all for it!

John Paul, bringing me a book:  Here, Mom.

Me: Do you want me to read this to you guys?

John Paul: No, just to yourself.

The book?  Humanae Vitae.

Mary Claire, seeing a girl in a head scarf: Little riding hood!!!

Mary Claire, seeing a man with a long white beard at church: Noah!!!

Mary Claire, looking at a picture of Mary holding Jesus: I love you Mary! Ah love you Jesus!

Cecilia: Mom, if I leave crumbs on the floor, a mouse can eat them!

Me: Well, we don't want mice in our house...

Cecilia: Why?

Me: Because they would poop everywhere.

Cecilia: Um, but I'll get dem a little mouse potty!

Me: They wouldn't use the potty, they're mice.

Cecilia: Well den I'll get dem a little stuffed mouse!

Me: How would that keep them from pooping?

Cecilia: Just a little stuffed mouse so I can LICK da little stuffed mouse!

So confused by this conversation...

Elizabeth:  Kiss Mom!

*kisses me*

Elizabeth: I yuv oo!

Heart. Melted.  Favorite child.

...

Me: John Paul, what would you like to learn this summer?
JP: How to drive.
Me: That's not going to happen...
JP: I need to learn how things move forward and backward... I need to learn more about FRICTION!

...

Me: John Paul, do you want to say anything to the baby?
JP: Yeah. I just got a new iPad!
Me: You did?
JP: I ordered it!
Me: Um... Where?
JP: On Amazon.
Me: How did you pay for it?
JP: I just used a nickel. It was very cheap.

And there you have it!  I'd love to read your posts, if you've got any :)