If You Bring a Baby to the Emergency Room...

Searing kidney pain, accompanied by nausea and complete inability to keep even liquids down brought me to the emergency room this week, accompanied by my husband and nursing baby. I knew it was a kidney stone; I've dealt with them before. I didn't realize what a conversation starter the baby would be, though!

Some conversations were a bit awkward... Wondering how to answer the question, "Is this your first?" When no, she's the seventh. Do I just say no? Will they keep asking to find out what number she is? At first sheepish, I started answering more confidently, "No, she's our seventh."

Oh, the double takes! "Your... What???" (Seventh *does* sound a lot like second)

Yup, she's our seventh! And no, exuberant doctor with "only" two kids, I actually think your job is probably harder because you could not PAY ME to go through all those years of medical school and residency you had to deal with! (I know several moms with many children who are also doctors, so it's definitely possible, I just hated biology... The throat-slitting motion from this doctor was a little much, but she was just a very dramatic person, I'm not offended!)

My very favorite conversation, though, was with a nurse right before I had a procedure done to break up my biggest kidney stone. There I was, hooked up to all sorts of wires and getting ready to be knocked out, when yet another person wanted to talk to me about how many kids I had!

"So do you think you're done?"
"Well... She's only 4 months old, so I'm kind of trying not to think about being pregnant again right now but..."
"Whatever God gives you?"
"Pretty much!"
"My one kid is so hard I can't even imagine having another!"

Ohhhhh girl. Same. That first kid can be so killer, especially if you're not one of the "lucky ones" who gets an easy baby! I told her all about how hard that first baby is, and how much easier the second is when you already have your parenting stripes. And how much they will love each other, and how much the older child grows and changes during your pregnancy, so that you can never really know what life will look like if you add another child, because *everything* changes so much in nine short months!

By the end of our conversation she was talking with the other nurses about how "nobody ever says they regret having more kids, but you always hear people saying they regret not having more..."

YES. This is the number one thing wistful old women say to me when they see our rambunctious brood out in public. Nobody says, "Wow, my life would have been easier if I hadn't had so many children!" Nope, they always say, "Oh I just wish I could have had more..." (And it's not always their choice, as you know—we're not the ones in charge of our fertility!)

Who knows if that nurse will go on to have any more children... But maybe my baby's smile and my suffering had a little bit of meaning this week.