Seriously, these are all conversation we've had in the bathroom.  So...  Skip it if you don't like poop talk?

Cecilia:  What comed out of my cwotch?
Me:  Pee came out.
Cecilia:  And what makes pee?
Me:  The things you drink, like milk or water.
Cecilia:  NOT wine.
Me:  No, you don't drink wine.
Cecilia:  Just Jesus dwinked wine.  And John Paul.  I just dwink water and milk!

That might explain why he can never swing straight...

...

Cecilia, smushing her tummy together:  I have no bewwybutton.  A ape ate it!

...

Cecilia, looking down at the products of her defecation:  Oh!  I see a man and a woman in my poop!

...

Cecilia, smushing her tummy together again:  A ape ate my bewwybutton!  Or maybe a cheetah...  I saw a cheetah in my sweep.  In my dweams, and it was a nice cheetah.  It was NOT mean!

...

Cecilia, during a 5:30 AM bathroom break:  My pee comed out fast!  A cow poops in da hay.  Wemember when we went to Cox Farms when I was a baby?  And I ate a snack on da hill when I was a big girl!

...

John Paul, bursting into the bathroom when I had had the audacity to close the door:  You get no privacy, Mom!!!
Cecilia:  What are you doin' Mom?  Are you poopin'?  I want to see your poop!  Wow Mom, you had a wittle poop!!!

And they wonder why the whole reason I work part-time is so I can go to the bathroom by myself...

...


Cecilia:  Mom, may I pweez come in da bafwoom?
Me, sitting down:  Well, you're already in here...
Cecilia:  You have a big booty, Mom.  Because?
Me:  Because I'm a grown up.
Cecilia:  And I have a wittle booty.  Because I'm a girl!
Me:  Yup.
Cecilia:  I want to see your poop!

...

Cecilia:  How many months old are May Cwaire and Ewizabif?
Me:  10 months old.
Cecilia:  And when dey have deir birfday, how old will dey be?
Me:  They'll be a year old!
Cecilia, whispering:  And dey not be dead...

Then I guess we'll never find out if she has the sixth sense...

Kid Quotes

Cecilia (to the tune of Oh Canada):  Oooohhh Canada, you are the weirdest state!

...


John Paul:  WHO PAUSED THE CD???
Cecilia:  I did!  And not God da Fadder did!

God da Fadder's always cramping their style.  Especially when He tells them not to choke themselves...  (Please don't report me to CPS - these have been tied up but they keep pulling them back down...  The babies can't reach them, I promise!)

...


Cecilia:  Dad put me to bed!
Me:  That's right, because he loves you!  And who else loves you?
Cecilia:  God!
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  Jesus!
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  The children!
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  May Cwaire and Ewizabef!
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  God da Fadder Awmighty.
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  Da Howy Spiwit!
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  Da Cafwic Church.
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  A bear!

I was hoping for "Mom" or maybe "John Paul" but clearly she has her priorities in line...

More important than a bear.  And Mom.

...



Cecilia, bringing me a peanut with the shell on:  Mom, could you pweez hatch it for me?
I crack the nut
Cecilia:  Oh wook, it's HATCHIN'!

later...

John Paul:  Before I was born, I was an egg.  What egg did I hatch from?

Yup, it's time for that conversation...


...


John Paul, from another room:  Oh Cecilia, you're a really good baby carrier!

I look up to see Cecilia staggering into the living room before dropping Mary Claire face-first on the floor.  Thankfully Mary Claire caught herself with her hands...

Kind of like this.  Size difference:  <10 pounds.

...


John Paul, balancing a doll stroller on his head:  Maybe we'll have a baby protomartyr!
Me:  A baby protomartyr???
John Paul:  That doesn't even make sense!

My thoughts exactly...


...


John Paul, coming to the foot of the stairs 15 minutes before the end of naptime:  Mom!  Mom!  Mom!  I want to come upstairs at 3 o'clock!
Me:  That's fine, but where should you be right now?
John Paul:  In Mom and Dad's bed...
Me:  So go back there until 3 o'clock.
John Paul:  Oh...  I'm just going to have a little piano lesson.

Then he got out his piano book and practiced for the next 15 minutes.  But he was leaving me alone so it's cool.


...


John Paul, riding a truck around the house:  I need to go to Macy's for a while.  Here we go, parking spot 458!
Me:  What are you going to do at Macy's?
John Paul:  Oh, probably get some food for the twins and Mom.


...


John Paul:  When will Cecilia be pregnant?
Me:  Um...  Well, Mom was pregnant when she was 22, so maybe Cecilia will be 22.  Or maybe older.  We'll just have to wait and see...
Cecilia:  I patended to be pwegnant wif a baby doll!
Me:  Yes, you did...
Cecilia:  And I be pwegnant wif a WEAL baby and I will stay HOME!

We always have logical conversations.  Always.

...

John Paul:  Dad, when will you die Dad?
Andrew:  When I die.
John Paul:  In what year???

Welcome to a conversation we have at LEAST once a day...