Potty Talk

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Seriously, these are all conversation we've had in the bathroom.  So...  Skip it if you don't like poop talk?

Cecilia:  What comed out of my cwotch?
Me:  Pee came out.
Cecilia:  And what makes pee?
Me:  The things you drink, like milk or water.
Cecilia:  NOT wine.
Me:  No, you don't drink wine.
Cecilia:  Just Jesus dwinked wine.  And John Paul.  I just dwink water and milk!

That might explain why he can never swing straight...


Cecilia, smushing her tummy together:  I have no bewwybutton.  A ape ate it!


Cecilia, looking down at the products of her defecation:  Oh!  I see a man and a woman in my poop!


Cecilia, smushing her tummy together again:  A ape ate my bewwybutton!  Or maybe a cheetah...  I saw a cheetah in my sweep.  In my dweams, and it was a nice cheetah.  It was NOT mean!


Cecilia, during a 5:30 AM bathroom break:  My pee comed out fast!  A cow poops in da hay.  Wemember when we went to Cox Farms when I was a baby?  And I ate a snack on da hill when I was a big girl!


John Paul, bursting into the bathroom when I had had the audacity to close the door:  You get no privacy, Mom!!!
Cecilia:  What are you doin' Mom?  Are you poopin'?  I want to see your poop!  Wow Mom, you had a wittle poop!!!

And they wonder why the whole reason I work part-time is so I can go to the bathroom by myself...


Cecilia:  Mom, may I pweez come in da bafwoom?
Me, sitting down:  Well, you're already in here...
Cecilia:  You have a big booty, Mom.  Because?
Me:  Because I'm a grown up.
Cecilia:  And I have a wittle booty.  Because I'm a girl!
Me:  Yup.
Cecilia:  I want to see your poop!


Cecilia:  How many months old are May Cwaire and Ewizabif?
Me:  10 months old.
Cecilia:  And when dey have deir birfday, how old will dey be?
Me:  They'll be a year old!
Cecilia, whispering:  And dey not be dead...

Then I guess we'll never find out if she has the sixth sense...


  1. These made me laugh. haha, a big booty because we're grown up, LOL! Oh, and the wine drinking, LOL too cute/funny.

  2. Love JP's comment, "you get no privacy, mom". How true! I try to save most of my bathroom time for after the kids are in bed! :)

  3. I would take that comment as a sign that no harm will befall the twins before their first birthday and you can rest easy.

  4. I went out to lunch today with some friends. Midway through lunch I realized that 1) the only interesting stories I had to tell were poop stories and 2) this was not a crowd that would appreciate poop stories and 3) that I might possibly be a sad, sad person for considering poop stories interesting!

  5. Hilarious! Man, I thought it was bad that Claire insists on inspecting very, very closely while I use the bathroom and then handing me the toilet paper. Turns out it will be even more interesting when she can talk, ha!

  6. So glad its not just my kid. Mia told me she had an "ice cream poop with a cherry on top" yesterday.

  7. Poooooooop!

    I had to laugh at all these things Cecilia said. And it's a good thing, because my life is making me want to yell at everybody right now.

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  9. Darn it, it's doubling what I post again. Roooooosieeeeeeee! Make it stooooooooop!


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