Elizabeth runs to John Paul to give him an enormous and adorable hug
Me: Aw John Paul, she loves you so much!
JP: Elizabeth and I are getting married!!!
Elizabeth crawls away
JP: Oh, she crawls when she gets married...
| The runaway bride |
...
Cecilia, in the bathroom: Mom, my booty's wet!
Me: Why is your booty wet?
Cecilia: Um, because I wanted to surprise you!
Me: A good way to surprise me is not by dipping your booty in the potty. Maybe just hug me and say, "Hey Mom, I love you!"
Cecilia: Or pwetend da floor is made of ice!
Also a way to surprise me...
...
Cecilia: John Paul, can we pway Aladdin next?
John Paul: NO! WE'RE PLAYING NEW TESTAMENT!!! CALL ME JESUS!!!
Cecilia: Um, next time can we pway Aladdin?
John Paul: NO! We'll play OLD TESTAMENT next!
Totally normal, I promise...
| "I'm walking on water!!!" No God complex here or anything... |
JP: I look like Elizabeth!
Andrew: Not really... How do you look like Elizabeth?
JP: Because I have a head.
Andrew: Lots of people have heads... Cecilia has a head, Mary Claire has a head...
JP, amazed: YOU have a head!!!
...
Cecilia, coming in while I'm nursing Mary Claire: Oh, hi kitty!
John Paul: She's not kitty! We're playing Old Testament, and she's Judith!
Cecilia: She's not Judas! Dad is Judas!
John Paul: No, JuDITH!
Cecilia: No, KITTY!
Me: No, Cecilia, he's saying Judittttthhhh, not Judas.
Cecilia: Oh! Hi Judif!
later...
Cecilia: And who am I in the Old Testament?
John Paul: Oh, you're Ruth. And Elizabeth is Esther. And Dad is Malachi. Mom is Moses's mom and I'm Isaiah!!!
Aunt Sister: Why don't we choose names where we're all in the same story? So we could play... Pentateuch!
Cecilia: And I'm Roof!
John Paul: NO! We're playing Pentateuch! Ruth is a Historical Book!!!
She got told.
| Judith and Esther, bffs |
John Paul, to Mary Claire: Hi, King Herod!
Mary Claire: blank stare
John Paul: Baby Herod, I'm Baby Jesus!
Mary Claire:
John Paul: Baby Herod, you're so sweet!
Mary Claire:
John Paul: I'm gazing at Baby Herod, and Baby Herod is gazing at me!
#thingsmostfouryearoldsdontsay
| It's a little-known fact that Herod was, in fact, a midget in rainbow baby legs. |
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