The Romper Post

Friday, July 31, 2015

I said I'd do it if I hit 500 likes on Facebook by the end of the month. It was a long shot. But apparently you all wanted rompers, because somehow we hit 500+ with several days to spare!

So I did it. My friend Dorothy met me at the mall once all our kids were in bed and we hit up H&M to find all the rompers. And right when I was waiting for her in front of the store, who should pass by but a grown woman wearing a romper. It's a thing, whether we like it or not.

I wanted to do Forever 21 also, but the mall closed at 9 and there was only time for one store :(

Anyway, if you want a blast from the past, visit H&M and marvel at all the neon, crop tops, Blossom-style floral dresses, and Fresh Prince-style prints. I really thought those styles wouldn't come back but here they are, like it or not. (There's actually a lot of really good, really cute stuff also! But a lot of crazy along with it...)

I think you can ALL applaud Dorothy for coming and helping find these rompers, because there are QUITE a few I wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't grabbed them for me! Many look suspiciously like dresses on the racks... 

But what I found after trying on 14 rompers in a row is that they are A LOT HARDER to get on than dresses. I kept seeing tricky closures (HOW am I going to button that thing up the back? Or tighten the straps and tie it in the back? NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.) and thinking, "Oh, I'll just pull it over my head!"

Only to realize that wait, there are leg holes so I CAN'T pull it over my head.

The nerve.

Sadly, none were as lovely as this beauty that I posted on the facebook page, and I think the lesson I took from all of this is... I'm too short, squat, and chubby for rompers.

Look at me, I'm not even going to try editing or cropping these pictures for you! And I only just noticed that random piece of trash on the floor of the fitting room...

See that drawstring? The theme of these rompers seems to be that they must have dropped waists. Which doesn't so much work if that accentuates your pudgy "I've had 5 kids" belly that won't seem to go away...

This one was actually easy to get on, but resembled pajamas so very much that I concluded it must actually BE pajamas.

Imagine if I had accidentally passed by THIS beauty! But no, Dorothy, good friend that she is, spotted it a mile away! I think we can all agree that nobody should be allowed to wear THAT.

Okay this one actually... Was not so bad! Incredibly comfortable, pockets, length would have worked with heels - the waist was even at a fairly appropriate spot on me! But not nursing-friendly, so a no-go.

Somebody designed this print. On purpose.

On the plus side, if you're really short like me the short shorts aren't quite so tiny on you!

I mean... In this one I could camouflage myself amidst red roses in the white snow?

This one... Well, it made me feel like Hugh Heffner. Not in a good way. But also kind of like I was wearing one-piece scrubs? The pink & teal animal print was so, so strange. But it has pockets, so that's something? You can even buy your OWN online!

The dropped waist. The gut. So wrong.

Tapered legs. Uh uh. Best way to accentuate a larger midsection, I guess?

I'm also REALLY hoping that this one is pajamas, because if I ever saw anybody wearing that in public I would assume we were actually at a sleepover and I just hadn't noticed yet. It made me feel like Strong Sad.

This hat is actually fabulous and I got it. Because my head is *slightly* larger than average, and they actually HAD a larger size and it fit! So you see, the trip wasn't a total bust!

But the shortalls. We found MULTIPLE styles. I suppose they're perfect for my new lifestyle? And nursing friendly... But yeah, no.

Not gonna lie, I looked kind of awesome in this one (okay, not in the picture, but it fit in all the right places) and somebody who is not me could absolutely pull it off. I'm thinking young, tall, skinny, artsy professional? 

Sumo romper. Why your crotch gotta be so low?

So the romper search was not the most successful in terms of finding a reasonable romper that a grown woman could wear as actual clothing. BUT this terrifying crocodile necklace made up for it. How's THAT for a statement piece?

And now I'm going to make a lofty promise that if I hit 1000 followers by the end of August, I'll do another romper roundup post! I can make this promise because I know it won't happen, so I'm safe ;)

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