What They Said, Volume 16

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

John Paul: I did it!!! I won at solitaire just by looking under the cards!!!

Or... Cheating?

John Paul: I think... We'll have more than 9 kids. Or maybe less than 9 kids. Or MAYBE... Exactly 9 kids!

John Paul, after eating his sixth slice of the frozen pizza Andrew slaved over: This is the BEST pizza EVER!!!

Yeah, never mind that pizza mom makes FROM SCRATCH (sauce, dough, and all) - this frozen stuff is where it's at!


John Paul: What does "hitherto" mean?
Me: Use it in a sentence.
John Paul: Well, as I was saying, "Hitherto, hitherto, hitherto..."

Great example...

John Paul, to Peter: He doesn't know what a G is... Peter, you have a G! It's the seventh letter of the alphabet! The word alphabet comes from the first two letters of the Greek alphabet, alpha and beta!

John Paul: You're a nerd.
Cecilia: No I'm not! I'm wearing clothes!!!

Nerd != Nude..

John Paul: A mysterious saint is buried here... Who lived before 1015?
Cecilia: Uh... St. Therese?
John Paul: No...
Cecilia: Jesus?
John Paul: *disgusted sigh*


Cecilia: Mom, how do dey make stuffed animals? Just take an animal dat's dead and stuff it?

Yup. Or, you know, taxidermy...

Cecilia: Mom, if you're upside down and you're sighing, then you would be up-SIGH down! That's a joke.

Style. She's got it.
Cecilia, talking about The Railway Children: Mom, why did dey call her Bobbie?
Me: It's a nickname for Roberta, kind of like Cece could be a nickname for Cecilia.
Cecilia, thinking: Or...  It could be a nickname for Assisi!
Me:  Yes, I guess it could...
Cecilia: Mom, is Assisi a city or a town?
Me: I think it's a town. 
Cecilia: Yeah, where St. Francis was!
Me: And when you grow up maybe you could travel there!  And walk where St. Francis walked, and go to Mass where he went to Mass...
Cecilia:  Like Aunt Sister!  But I would bring all my kids.
Me: How many kids do you think you'll have?
Cecilia: 4 or 5?
Me: Oh?
Cecilia: Or 6 or 7 or 8 or 9...
Me: Yeah?
JP: Me too!
Cecilia: Or 10.
Me: What will your husband do?
Cecilia, thinking hard: ... Go to work?
Me: But what will he DO at work?
Cecilia, thinking hard again: ...  Make money?

Life goals, in a nutshell.

Cecilia: Mom, last night I had a dream. There was a child and a priest on a cloud, and the cloud was supported by a pillar.  The pillar fell, and the child and the priest...  Were dead.
Me: ... Why were they on a cloud?
Cecilia:  They were at Mass.  But then the pillar fell and they died.  It was a little scary? But not very much.

Ooookay then...

Cecilia: Mom, am I a Christian?
Me: Yes.
Cecilia: Maybe I'll be a martyr... And Peter, maybe YOU'LL be a martyr! But Peter... (Sternly) You CAN'T marry your sister.

Lectures by Cecilia...

Cecilia: Mom, can only boys be presidents?
Me: No, girls can be president too, just no girl has ever been president. Do you think you might want to be president some day?
Cecilia: Mom? Can presidents be saints?
Me: Yes, they can.
Cecilia: Mom? Then yeah, I want to be president AND a saint!!!


Elizabeth, holding up two wedges of cheese: I got two wedgies!!!

The twins were being too quiet, so I went to find them... Quietly stacking books together?

Elizabeth: Mom, May Cyaire and Eyizabif are pwetend da pwaywoom is a monastewy!!!

As you were, twins. As you were.

Me: Mary Claire, WHY were you eating sand again???
Mary Claire: It was patendin' to be tortellini...

Me: Mary Claire, were you eating dirt again???
Mary Claire: I was eating a ant!
Is it wine o'clock yet?

Me: Mary Claire, why didn't you sleep during nap?
Mary Claire: I was patend to be da noise machine.
Me: And why were you pretending to be the noise machine?
Mary Claire: Because it was patend to be Lawwy.

Of course.

Peter: Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Da-da-da-da-da-da-da!

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