Sunday, April 28, 2013

WIWS - help!

 
This is the kind of Sunday morning we've had,,,


 
Shirt:  Old Navy
Skirt:  H&M
Shoes:  DSW
Scarf:  Zulily
Haggard expression:  Cecilia
 
 
Elizabeth wore Cecilia's old dress this morning, and because I promised a side-by-side-by-side comparison, here you go! 
 
Cecilia on the left, Mary Claire (2 weeks ago) top right, Elizabeth bottom right (couldn't find the headband)

This was one of those weeks where I was thankful that the babies have enough head control for one of us to hold both at once, because Cecilia had to be taken out at least three times and it's impossible to yell at her while holding a baby because then the baby just cries and Cecilia thinks it's funny.  But she thinks EVERYTHING is funny.  I just don't know what to do about her...  There is absolutely no punishment that makes her change her behavior, she just thinks everything is hilarious.  What would you do?  I'm at the end of my rope!

I'm beginning to think that the only thing we can do is tag-team Mass for a few weeks and see how it goes.  I can take John Paul and a baby and Andrew always goes to an EF Mass later in the day anyway...  Maybe if Cecilia sees that her behavior has been bad enough that she doesn't even get to go to Mass (and therefore doesn't get to wear a pretty dress or pretty shoes or her pink hat) she'll change her ways?  So far she's treated other punishments as a reward...

Linking up my exasperated self to Fine Linen and Purple, where nobody else has a sociopath for a child (I hope).

22 comments :

  1. You're right about Mary Claire and Cecilia looking like twins! All your girls are precious! Maggie laughs while being punished so we take her beloved stuffed animal away. Woos everytime. Even if it is a tittle mean!

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  2. Works not woos. Stupid kindle.

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  3. Love, love your shoes! And when you find out how to make toddler behave in Mass, let me know. I have no advice obviously, just prayers and solidarity.

    And the side by side comparison is great! Beautiful girls.

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  4. You look great (haggard expression and all). I love your hair style with the braids going around your head..so pretty.

    I have no advice on getting toddlers to behave at Mass, other than maybe just ride it out. We've done tag-teaming, we've done the cry room, we've done the just hold them in the back the whole time. We've done the bribe them with cheerios and sippy cups of milk. It's all hard...I think time and maturity is the only thing that really helps. It's hard though.

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    1. And, you really don't look haggard.

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    2. I deleted the in-focus picture I took because the haggardness was just too much :P

      But yeah, I have a feeling time is the only thing that will work, unfortunately. But you never know, maybe someone has a magic trick up their sleeve!

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  5. Yeah, Susie had a rough couple of weeks just a bit ago. She was loud, crying, yelling, and using all her tricks: I want to go to the back, I need to go to the potty, I need a timeout, etc." But she's been an angel the last few weeks, and the only thing we've changed is talking to her about Mass beforehand. We'll start on Saturday telling her that tomorrow is Sunday and we're going to church and asking her what she's going to be. She always responds, "Good and quiet." And she has been! (At least enough to make me happy). Good luck!

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    1. Yeah that approach worked for us for a while but now she'll spend the previous day talking about how good and calm and quiet she will be and then when Mass comes around she's just a crazy crazy child... And now that she's gotten really good at arguing with John Paul it's even worse!

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  6. So this sounds terrible, but we've started compensating our 2.5 year old with actual money if he behaves in Mass. He is obsessed with lighting a candle at those little votive altars around the church, so if your parish has one, and if you're not opposed to straight up bribery, we've found it to be very, very effective. When he is doing well I usually give him the money around the beginning of the Eucharistic prayers and then coach him quietly through the last 15 minutes while he clutches it to his chest like a little psycho. The big fat caveat: if he is being bad, we collect it back from him and then walk him past the candles anyway and explain that his super disappointing decision to act like a monster means no money for a candle today. Then we encourage him to do better the next week. After about 3 weeks of this, he is seriously behaving so much better than he has in the past year of Sundays, I'd say.

    Ashamed? Maybe a little. But mostly not. Plus, he's tithing!

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  7. I love a cute pencil skirt. You look lovely.

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  8. Beautiful scarf ~ shirt combination! Love all of the side-by-side pictures.

    Try tag-teaming, give yourself a week off and see if the lack of a chance to be pretty makes a difference.
    We often tag-team since my husband sings at a later Mass.

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  9. We've never tag teamed because I've always worried that that would just prolong the problem and I would rather just address it now. But you have to do what works for your family. I'm sure getting left behind would be memorable.

    I have had a couple that didn't seem to be fazed by punishments, but I always just remind myself that just because a child doesn't seem emotionally upset by a punishment doesn't mean it can't be effective. If I have to take a child out of Mass, he has to just sit in a corner outside. I try to make sure it's WAY less fun than being in Mass. And if there is loud protesting, we just move farther from the door. But even if he's just sitting there looking pleased with himself (which is most of the time) I just remember that regardless of whether he looks like he's suffering, sitting in the corner is not as fun as other things and either he knows that and he's scamming me, or he'll figure it out soon enough and change his behavior.

    It's always eventually worked with my older kids. Good luck! And cute shoes.

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    1. Yeah I think if tag teaming ever happens it will be a last resort and very likely not something that will happen twice.

      The problem is, she ASKS to be taken out. It's like a reward for her, and then she just sits in the corner giggling... But I know she'll shape up eventually! I just want eventually to be NOW :P

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  10. I started "Peaceful Parents Happy Kids" and it is really great. And yes, not every one of her suggestions will work for all kids, but we're making a lot of headway with our two "spirited" children. It seems extreme, because the author (a child psychologist) doesn't even recommend time-outs, but we've seen a vast improvement in Gwen, our 4 yr old. It's all about connection, because children naturally want to please their parents. I'm going to write a post about a particular incident, so that might help you decide if it's the right approach for you! I feel for you!

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  11. I am just glad I am not alone. I mean, I am sorry it was rough, I really am- but I have no advice whatsoever, because we are falling apart at the seams over hear.

    I'm off to drink some more wine, here's to bed time!!!

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  12. You look lovely! Turquoise is my fav :) No advice here, I've never done that many babies at mass before, so I think it's totally reasonable to tag-team for a short time!

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  13. You look lovely in that color and your girls are so sweet. As far as behavior is concerned, consistency is key. They really do change so quickly at that age. One week horrible, one week angelic. Just try to be consistent with whatever you and your husband decide to do, even if she laughs. Twenty-three years later and that is all I know. Keep loving her Mama...this too shall pass.

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  14. I was just stopping by from the main WIWS page, getting encouraged that I should join up next week, when I noticed your fireplace. Might you live in a 1020s home? We have the same woodwork...but it's your tile I love. Ours needs to be redone...did you guys do yours? Would love more info on the tile. -- thanks. PS. Love the outfit too.

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  15. My kids are all past that stage(ages 19-7 now) but boy have I been there in the past! My foolproof tip, one that worked with all of my kids, is tell them all that if they behave in Mass they will get a doughnut after Mass. Many years the different parishes we attended served them after Mass. If not, we went to Dunkin Donuts. If they did not behave, and I always gave them 1 warning, no doughnut. They got to watch everyone else enjoy theirs. I have some who pretended it didn't matter, but I knew it did.
    Really though, you will look back and wonder where those sweet baby times went- it goes by too fast. I would love to have a little one to snuggle during Mass again. I did not appreciate that time enough, to be sure!
    God bless you,
    Cathy

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    1. Thanks, Cathy! We usually don't have time for donuts after mass but maybe I can bribe them with something else... Or maybe we can just grab grocery store donuts the night before and use that as incentive? Worth a shot!

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  16. 1st, I love the colors of your outfit! Those shoes are just too cute. And 2nd, I feel for you! Evie's at the age where everything naughty is so funny, so I'm at a loss. And I know at mass it's 10x harder to try to get kids to behave. We are starting to dread Sunday mass b/c it's just distraction-fest. One tip I heard (Cecilia might be too young, but for future use?) is to tell them beforehand a word to listen for in each of the readings. Jenny's post cracked me up- love the tithing idea.

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