Friday, May 22, 2015

What They Said, Volume 17



While I was prepping dinner:


Elizabeth: Mom, what are you makin'?

Me: Asparagus!
Elizabeth: JUNIOR Aspawagus???




While I was trying to listen to a podcast between Simcha Fisher and Jen Fulwiler...


Elizabeth: Mom! Is da yady talkin' about AngeYINA (ballerina)???


Obviously?





At the dinner table...


Elizabeth, angrily: May Cyaire, weMEMber??? You eated owegano fwom da GAHden!!!





Elizabeth brings a pot over to me...


Me: What did you make?

Elizabeth lifts the lid: I nunno...
Me, seeing two toy cakes: Is it... Cake soup?
Elizabeth, angry: NO! It's YEFTOVERS!!!


Overheard in the back yard...

Elizabeth: I'm big and you're yittle.
Mary Claire: No, I'M big and YOU'RE little.
Elizabeth: We're BOTH big!
Mary Claire: Ya! We're BOFE two and we're BOFE big!!!




Elizabeth: Do re mi...
Mary Claire: NO, do re Me!
Elizabeth: NO, do re MEEEEE!!!
Mary Claire: Do re EVEWYBODY!

Can you tell their parents are musicians?



At bedtime...

Me: Okay, Mary Claire, should we pray a Hail Holy Queen? Hail Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy...
Mary Claire, angrily: Hail Holy Queen and Hail Mawwy are my BEST PWAYERS.
Me: Well I'm glad you like them... To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve...
Mary Claire, giggling: What's "AVEEVE?"
Me: Of. Eve. Like Adam and Eve.

Mary Claire finishes praying while doing some sort of macarena...




Mary Claire, trotting down the hall: I'm just goin' to da bafwoom... To turn on da light... To look at my eyebwows...





Aunt Sister: Mary Claire, who's your favorite sister?

Mary Claire: Cecilia!
Aunt Sister: And who's your favorite brother?
Mary Claire: Peter!
Aunt Sister: And who's your favorite Aunt?
Mary Claire: Um, a black ant!!!

I hear they're the tastiest...





Cecilia, cheerfully: Mom, which twin do you think will die first?


Speechless.





Cecilia: Mom, WHY is St. HELENA always holding the Cross in pictures? Why didn't she just MAKE her own cross so I could find the REAL cross???






Me: Wow John Paul, you must really love science!
John Paul: Yeah. ESPECIALLY hydrogen and oxygen.




Cecilia is holding her hands like a heart around her face...

John Paul: Are you doing that because you want me to be your valentine?

Cecilia: NO!!! I'm GOD'S valentine!




John Paul: I'll publish a book about President Gerald Ford and President Obama speaking... Speaking... Speaking about... I don't know!!!

I predict a best seller.

John Paul: Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh! Ooh OOH!!! Look what I found!!!

Me, thinking it must be candy or money: What?
John Paul: An Allen wrench!!!

To each his own?


And that's all she wrote.
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