Tuesday, March 3, 2015

What They Said, Volume 15



John Paul: I'm thanking God for all the things He's given me. Thank you God for giving me steel. Thank you God for giving me porcelain.

Okaaaay?




Cecilia: Maybe I'll get a St. Cecilia rosary for my first communion
John Paul: Yeah, and I'll get a St. Benedict rosary!
Cecilia: Or maybe I'll get a Blessed Imelda rosary, 'cuz she hasn't been canonized yet
JP: Yeah! And I'll get a Blessed Miguel Pro rosary!!!
Elizabeth: And! I get a PINK rosary for my BIRFDAY!!! A YIGHT pink rosary!

Have you heard?  She likes pink.




Me, telling Elizabeth a story:  Once upon a time, Princess Elizabeth went to the pet store and her mom and dad bought her a puppy!!!
Elizabeth: A PINK puppy!!!  And it was a stuffed puppy!!!

Um...  Okay?


Best dressed. Always.
Me, telling Elizabeth another story:  Once, Princess Elizabeth was riding her flying horse and they went over a rainbow!  And there were pink clouds in the sky!  And butterflies everywhere!
My mom, sarcastically: And then the butterflies pooped glitter...
Elizabeth, excited: And! Da butterfyies NOT pooped in da SKY!!!

Always a climactic way to end a story.

I don't even know what this face is...
Cecilia: Mom, Jesus lived before the dinosaurs.
Me: No. He didn't.
Cecilia: Mom, first, da dinosaurs lived. Den, da mammoths. Den, Jesus. And den you and me!!! And Katherine.

Check your history books, I'm pretty sure that's the official timeline.



Cecilia: Mom, sometime could we make water?
Me: You mean by melting ice or snow?
Cecilia: NO, with hydrogen and oxygen!

Apparently she's been paying attention to John Paul's studies...




Mary Claire: One day, Pwincess Cecilia began to smile, and den Pwince Peter came!!!
Me: And then what happened?
Mary Claire: And den Dad came! And... Da wise men!

What can I say? I'm raising professional storytellers.



At the dinner table:

Cecilia:  Mom, what could I be when I grow up?
Me: Well, you could be a nun, or a doctor, or a librarian, or a scientist...
Mary Claire: And what could I be???
Me: A teacher, or an astronaut, or a farmer, or...
John Paul: I'm going to be a monk who lives in a monastery that attaches to Cecilia's convent.
Elizabeth: And I be a monk!
Me: You'll be a monk, Elizabeth?
Elizabeth, giggling: A CHIP-monk!!!

It might be the best joke a 2-year-old has ever made up...




Mary Claire, seeing a little girl with a blue sippy cup at Mass: I was dwinkin' fwom my bwue sippy cup and den LIZabif snatched it fwom me and I WAS STILL DWINKIN' IT!!!

And with your spirit, kid.




Mary Claire, looking at a picture of toys: I was playin' wif dat toy and den John Paul TAKED it fwom me and I WAS STILL PLAYIN' WIF IT!!!

She repeated this for every toy in the picture, including the ones that she has never seen in her life...




Mary Claire, talking about Peter: Peter was holdin' a toy and den JOHN PAUL SNATCHED IT FWOM HIM!!!  And HE was still HOLDIN' IT!!!

Can you sense a theme here?

She's even started making up stories that involve things being taken from her:



John Paul got his first library card today and we had the following conversation:

Me: So, was it the best day of your life?
Him: Yes.
Me: Which was better, getting a library card or getting a baby brother?
Him: I like Peter the same amount as my library card. Those were the key events of my life.


Of course, Peter hasn't tried to eat his library card yet...  We'll see how he feels when that happens!



Need more laughs? Other quotable posts are here!
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