What They Said, Vol. 5

Tuesday, December 17, 2013



Elizabeth runs to John Paul to give him an enormous and adorable hug

Me:  Aw John Paul, she loves you so much!
JP:  Elizabeth and I are getting married!!! 
Elizabeth crawls away
JP:  Oh, she crawls when she gets married...

The runaway bride

...

Cecilia, in the bathroom:  Mom, my booty's wet!
Me:  Why is your booty wet?
Cecilia:  Um, because I wanted to surprise you!
Me:  A good way to surprise me is not by dipping your booty in the potty.  Maybe just hug me and say, "Hey Mom, I love you!"
Cecilia:  Or pwetend da floor is made of ice!

Also a way to surprise me...

...

Cecilia:  John Paul, can we pway Aladdin next?
John Paul:  NO!  WE'RE PLAYING NEW TESTAMENT!!!  CALL ME JESUS!!!
Cecilia:  Um, next time can we pway Aladdin?
John Paul:  NO!  We'll play OLD TESTAMENT next!

Totally normal, I promise...


"I'm walking on water!!!"  No God complex here or anything...
...

JP:  I look like Elizabeth!
Andrew:  Not really...  How do you look like Elizabeth?
JP:  Because I have a head.
Andrew:  Lots of people have heads...  Cecilia has a head, Mary Claire has a head...
JP, amazed:  YOU have a head!!!

...

Cecilia, coming in while I'm nursing Mary Claire:  Oh, hi kitty!
John Paul:  She's not kitty!  We're playing Old Testament, and she's Judith!
Cecilia:  She's not Judas!  Dad is Judas!
John Paul:  No, JuDITH!
Cecilia:  No, KITTY!
Me:  No, Cecilia, he's saying Judittttthhhh, not Judas.
Cecilia:  Oh!  Hi Judif!

later...

Cecilia:  And who am I in the Old Testament?
John Paul:  Oh, you're Ruth.  And Elizabeth is Esther. And Dad is Malachi.  Mom is Moses's mom and I'm Isaiah!!!
Aunt Sister:  Why don't we choose names where we're all in the same story?  So we could play...  Pentateuch!
Cecilia:  And I'm Roof!
John Paul:  NO!  We're playing Pentateuch!  Ruth is a Historical Book!!!

She got told.
Judith and Esther, bffs


John Paul, to Mary Claire:  Hi, King Herod!
Mary Claire:  blank stare
John Paul:  Baby Herod, I'm Baby Jesus!
Mary Claire:
John Paul:  Baby Herod, you're so sweet!
Mary Claire:
John Paul:  I'm gazing at Baby Herod, and Baby Herod is gazing at me!

#thingsmostfouryearoldsdontsay

It's a little-known fact that Herod was, in fact, a midget in rainbow baby legs.



Your turn! Heard anything funny lately? Share your snippets with the link-up tool!

8 comments:

  1. I have no doubt that both our John Pauls put me to shame when it comes to Old Testament knowledge!

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    1. I think John Paul catechizes me more than anyone else ever has!

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  2. Oh my gosh...John Paul and Cecilia are too funny together!

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    1. They crack me up :) Thank goodness she's such a little peacemaker, or their conflicts would get a LOT more heated!

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  3. ::helpless tears of laughter:: Ohmygoodness, those children are ridiculous!!!

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  4. Wow - John Paul is with the Old Testament what my son is with dinosaurs....maybe we need to start reading to him from the Bible more!

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  5. So, so funny! I can't wait until the girls start conversing! And I love that you made this a link-up! The world needs more laughter caused by the mouths of babes! :)

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  6. absolutely hilarious!!! i love reading these!!

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