Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Potty Talk

Seriously, these are all conversation we've had in the bathroom.  So...  Skip it if you don't like poop talk?

Cecilia:  What comed out of my cwotch?
Me:  Pee came out.
Cecilia:  And what makes pee?
Me:  The things you drink, like milk or water.
Cecilia:  NOT wine.
Me:  No, you don't drink wine.
Cecilia:  Just Jesus dwinked wine.  And John Paul.  I just dwink water and milk!

That might explain why he can never swing straight...

...

Cecilia, smushing her tummy together:  I have no bewwybutton.  A ape ate it!

...

Cecilia, looking down at the products of her defecation:  Oh!  I see a man and a woman in my poop!

...

Cecilia, smushing her tummy together again:  A ape ate my bewwybutton!  Or maybe a cheetah...  I saw a cheetah in my sweep.  In my dweams, and it was a nice cheetah.  It was NOT mean!

...

Cecilia, during a 5:30 AM bathroom break:  My pee comed out fast!  A cow poops in da hay.  Wemember when we went to Cox Farms when I was a baby?  And I ate a snack on da hill when I was a big girl!

...

John Paul, bursting into the bathroom when I had had the audacity to close the door:  You get no privacy, Mom!!!
Cecilia:  What are you doin' Mom?  Are you poopin'?  I want to see your poop!  Wow Mom, you had a wittle poop!!!

And they wonder why the whole reason I work part-time is so I can go to the bathroom by myself...

...


Cecilia:  Mom, may I pweez come in da bafwoom?
Me, sitting down:  Well, you're already in here...
Cecilia:  You have a big booty, Mom.  Because?
Me:  Because I'm a grown up.
Cecilia:  And I have a wittle booty.  Because I'm a girl!
Me:  Yup.
Cecilia:  I want to see your poop!

...

Cecilia:  How many months old are May Cwaire and Ewizabif?
Me:  10 months old.
Cecilia:  And when dey have deir birfday, how old will dey be?
Me:  They'll be a year old!
Cecilia, whispering:  And dey not be dead...

Then I guess we'll never find out if she has the sixth sense...

10 comments :

  1. These made me laugh. haha, a big booty because we're grown up, LOL! Oh, and the wine drinking, LOL too cute/funny.

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  2. Love JP's comment, "you get no privacy, mom". How true! I try to save most of my bathroom time for after the kids are in bed! :)

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  3. I would take that comment as a sign that no harm will befall the twins before their first birthday and you can rest easy.

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  4. I went out to lunch today with some friends. Midway through lunch I realized that 1) the only interesting stories I had to tell were poop stories and 2) this was not a crowd that would appreciate poop stories and 3) that I might possibly be a sad, sad person for considering poop stories interesting!

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  5. Hilarious! Man, I thought it was bad that Claire insists on inspecting very, very closely while I use the bathroom and then handing me the toilet paper. Turns out it will be even more interesting when she can talk, ha!

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  6. So glad its not just my kid. Mia told me she had an "ice cream poop with a cherry on top" yesterday.

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  7. Poooooooop!

    I had to laugh at all these things Cecilia said. And it's a good thing, because my life is making me want to yell at everybody right now.

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  9. Darn it, it's doubling what I post again. Roooooosieeeeeeee! Make it stooooooooop!

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