Monday, September 2, 2013

Kid Quotes

Cecilia (to the tune of Oh Canada):  Oooohhh Canada, you are the weirdest state!

...


John Paul:  WHO PAUSED THE CD???
Cecilia:  I did!  And not God da Fadder did!

God da Fadder's always cramping their style.  Especially when He tells them not to choke themselves...  (Please don't report me to CPS - these have been tied up but they keep pulling them back down...  The babies can't reach them, I promise!)

...


Cecilia:  Dad put me to bed!
Me:  That's right, because he loves you!  And who else loves you?
Cecilia:  God!
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  Jesus!
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  The children!
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  May Cwaire and Ewizabef!
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  God da Fadder Awmighty.
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  Da Howy Spiwit!
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  Da Cafwic Church.
Me:  And who else?
Cecilia:  A bear!

I was hoping for "Mom" or maybe "John Paul" but clearly she has her priorities in line...

More important than a bear.  And Mom.


...



Cecilia, bringing me a peanut with the shell on:  Mom, could you pweez hatch it for me?
I crack the nut
Cecilia:  Oh wook, it's HATCHIN'!

later...

John Paul:  Before I was born, I was an egg.  What egg did I hatch from?

Yup, it's time for that conversation...


...


John Paul, from another room:  Oh Cecilia, you're a really good baby carrier!

I look up to see Cecilia staggering into the living room before dropping Mary Claire face-first on the floor.  Thankfully Mary Claire caught herself with her hands...

Kind of like this.  Size difference:  <10 pounds.

...


John Paul, balancing a doll stroller on his head:  Maybe we'll have a baby protomartyr!
Me:  A baby protomartyr???
John Paul:  That doesn't even make sense!

My thoughts exactly...


...


John Paul, coming to the foot of the stairs 15 minutes before the end of naptime:  Mom!  Mom!  Mom!  I want to come upstairs at 3 o'clock!
Me:  That's fine, but where should you be right now?
John Paul:  In Mom and Dad's bed...
Me:  So go back there until 3 o'clock.
John Paul:  Oh...  I'm just going to have a little piano lesson.

Then he got out his piano book and practiced for the next 15 minutes.  But he was leaving me alone so it's cool.


...


John Paul, riding a truck around the house:  I need to go to Macy's for a while.  Here we go, parking spot 458!
Me:  What are you going to do at Macy's?
John Paul:  Oh, probably get some food for the twins and Mom.


...


John Paul:  When will Cecilia be pregnant?
Me:  Um...  Well, Mom was pregnant when she was 22, so maybe Cecilia will be 22.  Or maybe older.  We'll just have to wait and see...
Cecilia:  I patended to be pwegnant wif a baby doll!
Me:  Yes, you did...
Cecilia:  And I be pwegnant wif a WEAL baby and I will stay HOME!

We always have logical conversations.  Always.

...

John Paul:  Dad, when will you die Dad?
Andrew:  When I die.
John Paul:  In what year???

Welcome to a conversation we have at LEAST once a day...

18 comments :

  1. You make me excited for when I have children that can talk! Such smart cookies (and cuties!!)

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  2. Oh my. Hilarious as usual!!! We always have the "who loves you" conversation. My favorite response was tonight at dinner. After God, Jesus, Mary, Mommy, Daddy and all the siblings, Zeke said "WATER wuvs me!"

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    1. Water!!! Ohmygosh!!!!! LOL!!!

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    2. Ha! Well, I suppose that's an important one too :P

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  3. Very funny! I like the egg hatching--I'm sticking with our old standby of "and then the baby pops out" it's true AND vague :)

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    1. Yup! They keep asking for the stories of how they were born, and they always end with, "and then you were born! And you weren't in Mom's tummy anymore!"

      Nobody has asked how. I'll figure that one out when we come to it!

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  4. The peanut was my favorite! They are so funny and cute :)

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  5. Laughing so hard that I'm crying!

    That Oh Canada one sounds very much like Andrew. Betcha she copied it from him.

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  6. Darn it! Blogspot is making me comment twice every time! Sorry!

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  7. I'm looking forward to when my baby can talk. These quotes are so funny! Isn't it odd how children seem to possess a universal attraction to blind cords?

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    1. They left them alone for a while, but now apparently they're "seat belts" and they need to wear them to go to the supermarket! I need to figure out an acceptable alternative...

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  8. Love John Paul saying "your a really good baby carrier" to the toddler as she carried the baby. I can totally see that happening when #3 is born. And blinds are the worst...I have them all over my house too and am constantly tying them back up

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  9. Hahaha! You know you're Catholic when your four year old throws the word protomartyr around in conversation. :)

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  10. Oh my gosh, your blog is so funny. Your kids say the most priceless things!

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  11. When I was about six, my mother deliberately left a children's book around the house: The Wonderful Story of How You Were Born. I think it was this book: http://www.amazon.com/Wonderful-Story-How-Were-Born/dp/B000YCP2VQ/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1378246723&sr=8-3&keywords=wonderful+story+of+how+you+were+born

    Of course, I read it, because even then I read anything that held still. That night at the dinner table, I announced brightly, "I didn't know I was once a egg!"

    My siblings (aged 17, 14, and 12) turned purple with embarrassment. My parents stared at each other. I went on with dinner, not noticing anything wrong; I'd just wanted to say that I had learned something new that day. You know, ordinary dinner-table conversation.

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  12. If it makes you feel better, I am usually at the bottom of the lists my kids make. If I'm even on them at all!

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  13. Wow, this is pretty great!
    I love those quotes of your kids, pretty hilarious.

    Cheers xxxx
    Regina
    Mother Daughter Quotes

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