Well, I write them down all week and then it's Friday and I still haven't published them so I figure... Might as well make these my Quick Takes!
--1--
I think John Paul might have started reading my blog on the sly (my kindle has been missing since we moved and I'm pretty sure he's hiding it on the futon so he can surf the internet suring naptime), because he has been ON lately!
After last week's constant insistence that I'm pregnant (in this post, and also in his farewell to me: "Bye Mom. You're pregnant!"), he told me today:
JP: I'm fat.
Me: Where are you fat?
JP, touching his chest: Here.
Me: No. No fat there. Maybe a little on your booty, because we want fat there so it doesn't hurt when we sit.
JP: Mom has boobs. But you're not fat. You're thin!
I guess I should be flattered?
--2--
JP, putting strawberry tops in a cup of water: I'm making Watermelon Yuzu Punch!
He's been reading a book on cocktails lately...
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| And an instruction manual for a graphics card. You know, normal 3-year-old reading material. |
--3--
JP: I'm a swut.
Me, making sure I heard that correctly: You're a what?
JP: A swut. I have a wing in my nose. Wike a bull.
Me: How do you spell that?
JP: S-L-U-T.
Me: Uh... Where did you read that word??? (thinking he saw the babysitter texting something bad...)
JP: Oh! In A Child's Book of Stories!
OH! Apparently reading a book of stories from the early 1900s introduces him to words that weren't necessarily bad back them, but that are TOTALLY inappropriate now!
--4--
JP: I have cock.
Me: Like a rooster?
JP: Cock. I'm making cock. (Out of playdoh)
Me: Why don't you say rooster instead of cock?
Cecilia: Cock-a-cock-a-cock-a-cock!!!
JP: I have cock! I have a cock!!!
I left the room, giving up. Later on Andrew made him spell it so we could be sure what he was going for - "C-A-U-L-K"
Thank goodness.
Yet again, I regret the fact that he learned to read at the tender age of 26 months (which seems SO ridiculous now that Cecilia is older than that and only knows her letters and their sounds and has ZERO interest in reading!)...
--5--
And I suppose I should add some of Cecilia's gems, too (because "Cock-a-cock-a-cock-a-cock" wasn't good enough...):
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| Ready for her first frat party, Solo cup and all! |
Cecilia, mournfully: I'M IN DA SINK!!!
Cecilia: Get me OUT of da sink?
Sadly, not the first time this has happened. You'd think it would occur to her that maybe she should STOP CLIMBING INTO THE SINK???
--6--
Cecilia, about 1000 times a day: NO JOHN PAUL, DON'T...
"Touch me"
"Wook at me"
"Pour water on me"
"Push me"
"Take dat"
"Talk to me"
"Sit there"
"Eat dat"
And always with the devastated cry.
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| I promise they really do love each other... |
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| So much that she climbs up into bed with him in the morning! |
--7--
Okay this is not anything to do with the kids, but my sidebar has gotten SO cluttered in blogger. And I know I need to figure out how to make those buttons but it just seems like soooo much work - does it really take that long? Should I just suck it up and do it?
Bonus take: John Paul just came into the living room screaming, "ANTS ON THE TABLE!!! THERE'S ANTS ON THE TABLE!!!" and then, in a more reasonable tone, "Peter, Peter, Susan, and Susan." Good thing he named them before I kill them with a Clorox wipe...
Joining up with Jen & the other quick takers! Happy Friday :)
Okay this is not anything to do with the kids, but my sidebar has gotten SO cluttered in blogger. And I know I need to figure out how to make those buttons but it just seems like soooo much work - does it really take that long? Should I just suck it up and do it?
Bonus take: John Paul just came into the living room screaming, "ANTS ON THE TABLE!!! THERE'S ANTS ON THE TABLE!!!" and then, in a more reasonable tone, "Peter, Peter, Susan, and Susan." Good thing he named them before I kill them with a Clorox wipe...
Joining up with Jen & the other quick takers! Happy Friday :)
so funny! I can't believe he is reading! wowzzzers, that's awesome.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely baffled us - we thought he was just memorizing until he started reading words he had never seen before! Can't claim any of the credit, he's just really into letters!
DeleteChild genius you have there! They are too much! What about the twins - seems like they are not pulling their humorous weight lately.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you've ever seen Arrested Development but Cecilia's "cock-a-cock-a-cock" quote immediately made me think of it. Your kids are HILARIOUS! Now I just have a few years for Leo to get his talk on :)
ReplyDeleteYES!!! I should teach her the dance to go along with it :P
DeleteAre you kidding me??? That is unreal. John Paul, the genius!
ReplyDeleteReading at 26 months, wow!
ReplyDeleteI always like the stop looking at me comments/rants.
Happy Mother's Day!
How amazing. What a future awaits you, mama! My son is 26 months and if he says , "wow, numbers!" At anything written, we chock him up as a prodigy. Ready for her first frat party? Best kid caption.
ReplyDeleteGenius child..wow!! And, I am so cracking up at what he says. And, now I'm going to go look through all our children's books from the 1900's that might use the word "slut". LOL
ReplyDeleteI know, I thought that when I purged "Go the F*** to Sleep" from our collection of books, we were pretty much safe... Then he started reading Andrew's old history books about Hitler and would talk about Nazis, so those got given away. But I thought this book was safe!
DeleteHere's documentation of John Paul learning to read (or teaching himself, really): http://rosie-ablogformymom.blogspot.com/2011/10/wait-your-kid-can-read.html
ReplyDeleteBut here's the thing of it. Yes, he can read. Yes, he knows a saint for every day of the year, and he often knows the story behind the saint. Yes, he knows more Latin songs/chants than most Catholics do, especially post-Vatican II Catholics.
However! The child is not perfect! He probably can't do some things that your 3.5-year-old (for example) can do. I am not saying what, because I don't want to be disloyal. Rosie can explain it.
And yes, it's true that Cecilia doesn't read. Not even close. She isn't interested. But she led John Paul in imaginative play, which he really didn't understand at all until a couple of months ago. She can climb pretty much anything. I know that we're going to find out more things that she can do and John Paul can't. Give them twenty years, and we'll see.
Oh, and the graphics card instruction manual? It was holding still. That's why he was reading it.
Reading at 26 months. Let's see...was Thomas TALKING at 26 months??!!! LOL. :)
ReplyDeleteRight??? And he was barely talking - mostly just reciting things he read, little weirdo...
DeleteOh, and don't forget when he got so excited seeing the ampersand at Barnes & Noble, wasn't it? Didn't he hug it and yell "AMPOOSAN"?
DeleteHAHAHA your kids are awesome. And Cecilia in the sink!!!! SO FUNNY!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's got to be a 2 year old thing. Clare climbs up onto things she can't get down from CONSTANTLY :)
DeleteThat's why I keep telling Andrew it's time to get a swing set!!!
DeleteHaha...hilarious! Your kids are awesome!
ReplyDeleteOn the bright side, he could spell caulk to clarify what he was talking about!
ReplyDelete